Tag Archives: youtube

The Link Parts Are… Gettin’ High! (featuring Malin Akerman’s Undies)

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Watchmen was not the greatest movie ever made, and Couples Retreat wasn't even the greatest pile of shit ever made. (That honor goes to me, for last night's Taco Bueno-driven, multi-Couric masterpiece.) But neither of them missed perfection in their respective niches due to Malin Akerman. Even that horrible Silk Spectre wig couldn't keep her down. She's so fine, I'd pay good money just to sniff her hair; although in fairness, with the smell of post-colonic chicken fajitas lingering in the air, I'd willingly sniff a camel right now.

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  • Who’s High? A School Suspends a Student for Bloodshot Eyes - TIME
    First off, what do you expect when you live in a town calling itself “Trophy Club”? Weird shit is going to happen to you, and if it doesn’t involve the city council hunting you in the woods as the Most Dangerous Game, you’re doing well. Second, if I had a family member murdered two days earlier, the school would be fortunate if I bothered to show up wearing pants, let alone sober.
  • Giddyup: Saddle seat a new squeeze on fliers? – CNN
    On the positive side, you could learn a lot about people by watching them strap into one of these things on your next flight. For example, anyone smiling has at least one piece of sex furniture at home. Good to know.
  • The 10 Hottest Girls At The 2010 VMAs – Complex
    Um, no. A list that suggests Nicki Minaj is anything but ridiculous-looking is automatically invalid. Next thing ya know, Complex will try reminding us of how hot Sarah Jessica Parker is.
  • YouTube Time Machine Takes You Back to the Good Old Days – Urlesque
    All I’m sayin’ is, if I punch in “1982″, I expect some fucking Joanie Loves Chachi. Is that too much to ask?
  • Dennis Rodman … is Still Dennis Rodman – SLAM
    The Worm would be the modern-day Shaft, if Shaft were just a little bit gay. (I know, I know… shut my mouth.)

Masterpiece Theater: Two Chicks Slap-Fighting In The Tub

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Some people say Citizen Kane is the greatest film ever made. Others cite Raging Bull. The list of films worthy of this debate is long and varied. Even so, I would not be so bold as to suggest that Hot Asian Chick Bathtub Fight is a peer to such immortal greatness.

But I ask you this: between HACBF and The Magnificent Ambersons, which would you rather watch with your pants around your ankles?

Yeah, that’s right… suck it, Orson Welles!

via Hollywoodtuna

The Link Parts Are… Henpecked!

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  • One-man study shows road-rash preferable to nagging [The Leaf Chronicle]
    The chicks in my life have never nagged me. Partially ’cause women don’t nag a man who knows how to handle his bidness. And partially because sheep don’t talk.
  • Michael Bay asserts his copyright on all instances of cinematic mediocrity [SciTech Bits]
    My theory as to the real reason Viacom had behind-the-scenes footage from Transformers 3 pulled from YouTube? Evidence of the long-rumored but unsubstantiated claims that Optimus Prime is a mean drunk who makes fun of Megan Fox’s toe-thumbs on set.
  • Jersey Shore‘s Vinny apparently not Italian, might be a Leprechaun [The Superficial]
    Jesus, Vin… flat-chested and six inches taller than you? Yeah, she’s pretty, but still. I know the pickings are slim in Vinnyville –which seems to be primarily populated by cougars with alcohol poisoning– but you’re making Pauly D and Mike look like sexual gods here.
  • The reanimated corpse of John Wayne runs for office in Alabama, voters (and Mexicans) prepare for an ass whooping [Uncoached]
    I hope this guy’s wife isn’t a werewolf, because from what I can tell, he’s so bad-ass his cock must shoot silver bullets. Somewhere, Chuck Norris is watching this ad while sliding up and down on his fruity little exercise ramp and crying softly about his inadequacy as a man.