Spring Break: 10 Seconds To Impress The Audience (NSFW)

Posted on July 7, 2010 by Roger

[video src="http://beforepartb.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/spinnakerbikinicontesttitflash.m4v" width="580" height="420"]

There are many things here that impressed me, even as I shot it. The tits, of course, but more than that.

The really big girl, who gamely decided to start unzipping her pants. Just how drunk would she have needed to be to go through with it? And how drunk would the crowd need to be to cheer her on? And how long would it take me to forget?
The super-skinny chick on the left, who –when outgunned by all the tits and ass on display– decided to break it down old school. “Old school” meaning, in this context, “like a twitching seizure victim watching an old episode of Pokemon.”
The emcee, who managed to be reach previously unexplored heights of dochedom by actually scolding girls for flashing their tits. Prick.

Bootyography: Wet T-Shirts Are To Dudes As Rainbows & Unicorns Are To Six Year-Old Girls

Posted on November 16, 2009 by Roger

[fb-like]

It was just another random afternoon on the beach during Spring Break. I wandered aimlessly from bikini to bikini, wondering how I would close out a day of leering and dodging restraining orders. Slowly, the sky grew overcast and the temperature dropped, so naturally, it was time to whip out the hose and soak some hooters.

I’m sorry. That was cheap, childish phrasing. I should be ashamed of myself.

I don’t know why we, as a society, must undermine the power and majesty of the female breast through the use of ridiculous euphemism.

Is it not enough that our noble sisters and their secondary sex characteristics must endure the daily affrontery of straps and underwires and whatever the hell an IPEX is?

Do these marvels of natural engineering truly need a bra to elicit wonder?

Even worse, I can’t help but suspect that our tawdry trivializations may, in some fashion, lead to bigger –possibly even enormous– issues in the future.

All I can do is look at the smiling face below, that of the misguided contest’s “winner”, and shake my head in disconsolate shame. For I, a self-centered, awful little man, have failed her and everyone like her. In seeking to celebrate, I have mocked. With my lascivious gaze and careless words, I have tarnished her gentle form.

Oh, hey, wait… nipple slip!

I’m going to hell, aren’t I?

[media id=5 width=580 height=420]

Yep, pretty much.

Bootyography: The Ass: A Retrospective

Posted on November 9, 2009 by Roger

Closeup of girl's ass in a striped bikini, taken at Panama City Beach, Florida during Spring Break 2003

serendipity: (noun) what you get when you’re trying to take a picture of a hot girl and an even hotter girl sticks her ass in the lens

back dimples on a girl in a black bikini bottom Panama City Beach, Florida during Spring Break 2003

It’s pretty amazing, the way tastes evolve. Ten years ago, if you had asked me to name two highly attractive parts of a woman’s body, I wouldn’t have included “abdomen” or “lower back” in the list. Now I’m fascinated by both. Apparently, the lesson is: “work it out, show it off, and it will eventually become ‘hot’”.

woman in white swimsuit gets her butt spanked by a guy during Spring Break in PCB

a perfect bottom
energetically spanked
gets a drunk dude slapped

a chick's small bottom in black boyshorts in Florida during SB2003

Boyshorts are the best thing that ever happened to girls with tiny butts. And the guys who love them, of course.

Gratuitous Spring Break: Skinny Britney & Friend (Part the First)

Posted on August 26, 2009 by Roger

[fb-like]

Confession time. I like pretty girls. I hide it well, but every now and again, a little hint will slip out.

Yeah, I know, the thought-provoking journalism to which you’ve become accustomed around here couldn’t prepare you for this. I feel bad about that, but I have to be true to myself, even if “myself” isn’t always pretty.^[1] So here I’m going to present the first installment of my personal experiments in recreational sexological photographism.

I have no idea what their names are; I just call the taller one Skinny Britney, and her little accomplice gets stuck with the nom de bikini Skinny Britney’s Friend. They were both contestants at Club La Vela in Panama City Beach, FL, shaking their shit for a couple hundred bucks and the honor of being the primary objects of my day’s lust. ^[2]

I sincerely believe SB may be the single most self-confident human being I have ever observed. Completely relaxed while wearing nearly nothin', laughing one moment and turning on the sexxay the next. Amazing.

I love SBF's expression as they both field invitations from boys in the pool below. She actually manages to pull off the "oh, poor baby, I'm afraid not" face with some conviction.

I'm not sure, but I think he was offering his fisting services. For which dude receives my respect... I mean, as random, drunken flirting goes, requesting to reserve space for your forearm in someone's baby bungalow is awfully ambitious.

More to come of these two (including a little video), and lots more… but for now, here’s a gallery.

FOOTNOTES:

[1] “Pretty,” no. A “studly mass of panty-dampening penis power”? You betcher ass, baby.

[2] Said honor being reserved for those lucky individuals who meet my stringent criteria. To wit: female, in my line of sight, and not running away in terror.

Hook’s (Panama City Beach, FL)

Posted on July 1, 2009 by Roger

After banging up my ankle, I had to put Blogging the Break on hold for a day, just to heal up… so we had some lunch, checked out the marina, and headed back to the room to crash.

Hook’s is a fine little place with a fine little menu, assuming you enjoy an open-air view (and smell) of moored fishing boats. The jerk chicken is pretty damned fantastic, and in an inexplicably delightful surprise, they have some of the best chips-n-salsa I’ve yet experienced. (And I am an absolute bastard when it comes to salsa.) Given the relatively inexpensive prices and free chips, I’d say it’s a near-ideal stop for Breakers looking for something beyond the strip… assuming you can stand the outward facade of the Treasure Ship, which houses Hook’s. KiddieLand looks aside, give it a shot.

Attached are some shots of Hook’s and the marina itself.

Hooks PCB Florida front

What Comes Before Part B?

A Bastion of Bacchanalian Booyah

Tag Archives: spring break