“I was watching television while masturbating, and when they started showing footage of the towers, I knew it wasn’t right to finish up.” Sweet.

So, the size of a man’s erection decreases in zero gravity? Yeah, sure George… shrinkage. I wonder if lady astronauts are gullible enough to fall for stuff like that? “Hey baby, did you know that being surrounded by a vacuum makes spunk taste like Kahlua? What say we go into the next section and run a battery of tests… on your face.”

Let’s be fair, here. When you live long enough in a trailer park and do enough meth, it’s hard to keep track of what constitutes appropriate behavior. For example, I’ve always been confused by the difference between a salad and dinner fork, or the difference between “being respectful of differences” and “kicking ginger kids in the junk.”

You think skip rape is tough? Try double dutch rape, which is like a three-way in Aruba, only your body is never found and some punk kid gets away with it.