Reality | What Comes Before Part B?

If you don’t remember Big Brother 9 winner Adam Jasinski, he’s the guy who worked as a P.R. flack for an organization devoted to helping the developmentally disabled, or as Adam repeatedly referred to them on the show, “retards”.

Based upon his obvious skill in that endeavor, it should come as little surprise that –when he decided to transition into dealing oxycodone– he was busted for trying to sell a government informant a sock full of pills. Dude even went so far as to admit that he financed the deal using the $500,000 prize that CBS bestowed upon him.

Photo credit: CBS. Genetic shame: Mr. & Mrs. Jasinski.

At this point, I’m confident this toothy, nose-picking fucktard could fail just trying to fall down. On the upside, his upcoming 10-to-20 stretch in the pen should give him plenty of opportunities to find out how it feels to be on the opposite end of this little story he told in the BB9 house:

So who is Bianca Gascoigne? Well, if you care about the unimportant details: she’s 22 as of this writing, and the adopted step-daughter of hard-drinking, frequently-fighting, and borderline nuts English footballer Paul Gascoigne. She’s done the rounds in all the standard British lad mags (Loaded, Nuts, FHM, etc.), and has done a couple of those reality shows that U.S. viewers mostly tired of in 2004.

But if you want to know what really matters about Bianca, here ’tis: she is WCBPB’s first official Poster Child. The WCBPB Poster Child is crowned based on his or her ability to personify all the things that we write about here, summing up –in the space of a single, brief lifetime– all the shit that makes life blurry, sweaty, and pantsless.

Shall I demonstrate the dear lady’s qualifications?