Now, I just know there’s a good reason for Rosario Dawson here to look like a hottie in a bikini from the neck down and Brad the Papa John’s Delivery Guy from the neck up. Especially when we all know the woman normally looks like this:

Right now, these are my theories:

1. She’s trying to keep a low profile, but has forgotten that water is translucent and boobs aren’t.
2. She’s researching a role as a fashion model who disguises herself and deals drugs at vacation resorts to help pay for her brother’s reconstructive surgery, all while trying to build a relationship with a cute towel boy. (Before you ask: working title is Dope Floats.)
3. That hat is covering a swastika shaved into her head by Marilyn Manson after a night of drunken abandon. (This one only works if Rosario has. in fact, met Manson, and is, in fact, insane.)

Oh, and by the way… Brad? If you’re reading, it’s okay to deliver here again. My anger management classes have gone swimmingly, and I’ve learned that deep inside, I don’t really want what I ordered. Sorry again about the cheese scalding.