Tag Archives: olivia munn

Olivia Munn Gets Raw

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A stoned Olivia gazes lazily into the camera and hopes her mattress has enough air left to make it to the Island of Misfit Pies

She Whose Loins Will One Day Know the Gentle Tickle of My Beard just posted has deleted some outtakes from her recent Maxim photo-shoot, with the warning that they haven’t been retouched. That’s okay, Olivia baby… leave the retouching to me. I’ll increase your saturation, tweak your exotic white balance, and oh my GOD, the things I will do to your sexy little vignette!

Still stoned, Olivia glares at me reproachfully, as if I just punched her in the tit. Which I would never do, because I can't fit a boxing glove over my tongue.

For Chrissake, can I get someone over here to pull focus for me?!

Have I mentioned she looks really wasted in all these shots? "Ready to make a low-budget porno in the back of my neighbor's van" wasted? Diminished capacity FTW!

Great Googly Moogly: Olivia Munn Rockin’ the Mini-Dress

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Oh, Munnster, the joy you bring to the world just by walking around in it! You’re like a beautiful flower blooming in an abandoned lot full of weeds and used syringes, the faint flint of sunshine that pierces the clouds of nuclear winter, or that glorious moment of relief after my morning wood goes away and I can finally pee. You are my libido’s Alpha as surely as Ruth Bader Ginsburg is its Omega.

Spike TVs Scream 2009 - Arrivals

I swear to God, I have never wanted to manipulate a zipper so much in my entire life. It’s like every zipper I’ve ever unzipped has just been prelude to this one.

Spike TVs Scream 2009

Granted, it kinda sucks that you keep flying off to do all these guest-spots, photoshoots, and industry shindigs, ’cause it keeps you from your Attack of the Show hosting duties. But I can forgive, because (a) you never dress like this on the show, and (b) AOTS tends to snag fill-in hosts like Californication‘s Eva Amurri:

…or Playboy’s Sara Jean Underwood:

…so I’m never completely lonely. Bless you, Ms. Olivia Munn. You are a great American, a fine human being, a talented hostess, and one amazing P of A.

Spike TVs Scream 2009 Awards!

Picking Nits With Olivia Munn

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This, good people, is Olivia Munn:

Watchman Premiere

I love her. Very, very much. She attended the San Diego Comic-Con this week in her capacity as co-host of G4TV’s Attack of the Show, going through multiple costume changes during her time on stage:

Okay, your man here keeps it real, so I have to put love aside for the moment and spit some truth. The video above contains several moments that demand comment.

  1. Olivia Munn is hot. Ridiculously hot. But despite the statement made by one female fan, Olivia is not “way hotter” than Megan Fox. No no no. Although I am more than willing to change my opinion after a side-by-side taste test. Ladies?
  2. As much as I have every intention of someday drafting Ms. Munn into my harem and making her the happiest woman alive (My secret? Roofie pie.), she is incapable of pulling off the Silk Spectre outfit. The wig just wasn’t workin’.
  3. And then there’s the capes… WTF, Munn? I’m okay with the Emma Frost cape, since she actually wears one, but Wonder Woman and Silk Spectre? I just watched Watchmen last night, and it was made perfectly clear that Silk Spectre puts out like a nympho with a case of condoms and a short attention span. Turning her into an ass-obscuring cock-tease is just wrong.

There. I feel better now. Yo, Olivia! Hungry…?