http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BA3UKkYzUpw

Watching this red-band trailer (translation: a kid says “fuck” and “cunt” while shooting people in the face) for the upcoming Kick-Ass, I was instantly reminded of Natalie Portman in Leon (a.k.a. Leon: The Professional and The Professional) , Luc Besson’s 1994 assassin-with-a-little-girl-sidekick movie.

You just know that Hollywood as a whole wishes Portman had never grown up. Yeah, she’s perfectly fine as an adult actress, but she was a revelation as a teen. Outside of Jodie Foster, the movie business has never seen anyone capable of projecting so much preternatural poise and power at such a young age. You could put her in almost anything and she could pull it off. And besides, if she’s gonna refuse to get naked as a grown-up, why not just stay a kid? Am I right, studio execs? Yeah, I’m right.

Anyhoo… here’s some more Kick-Assery, featuring Nic Cage striking an appropriate tone with his performance, a skill most of us figured he’d long ago lost. Maybe he only actively works at his craft when he’s broke? Makes sense to me. Don’t we all tend to let stuff slide until we’re up against the wall? I know I hadn’t prayed in years, until a few weeks ago when I woke up next to a dead midget hooker. I was all like, “This again, God?”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEDqmbAw06o