She keeps her built-in cellphone charger under her skirt this time, but Machete‘s unheralded MVP is back to deliver all the drug-addicted prostitution action you can handle. (If you’re me, that’s a lot. FYI.)… Continue Reading
A Bastion of Bacchanalian Booyah
Tag Archives: movies
Mayra Leal (Machete’s Naked Girl) & Her New Movie: Playing House
She’s back, and still stabbing people in varying states of undress. Only this time in suburbia which –let’s face it– could really use more stabbing…. Continue Reading
Deborah Foreman Is On Twitter, And I Am An Emotional 14 Year-Old
I was in love with her as a kid, so I’m, ah… pleased. Seriously, when I found out, I did everything but actually “Squeeee!” I need to recover my manhood. Wait here while I go punch a lion. Or an alpaca. Y’know, whatever…. Continue Reading
The Link Parts Are… Cheesy! (featuring Alison Brie)
Satellite problems, the anti-rape iPod, sneaky self-abuse, Katy Perry channels Mel Gibson, murderously good porn, and Twilight fans need to shut the hell up. For reals…. Continue Reading
Clare Grant: There’s More To Seth Green’s Wife Than Lightsaber Nipples (NSFW)
My notes say “…she also has a Fahrenheit 451 ass”, but I’m not sure what that means. I need to stop reading science fiction and masturbating while high. Hm… okay, I’ll stop tomorrow…. Continue Reading
The Link Parts Are… Heliocentric! (featuring Emma Stone)
Erotic illusions, Snooki sees Spot run, it’s a backhoe time machine, “Facebook fail” is an oxymoron, and some Catholics sure know how to hold a grudge…. Continue Reading
The Link Parts Are… Vacuum Sealed! (featuring Alyssa Pallett)
January gets Frosty, racist comic book guys, dead pop starlings, scary clowns, boob-eating gators, unwanted pee, and a working example of why the paparazzi sucks…. Continue Reading
Machete Confirms It: Lindsay Lohan Is A Walking Afterschool Special
We’ve all seen Lindsay get naked and do drugs. So Robert Rodriguez decided to take things up a notch…… Continue Reading
Machete’s Naked Girl: “It’s Too Hot For Clothes.”
In related news, my pants are suddenly tighter. Or would be, if I were wearing pants. Which I’m not, because, you know… the heat…. Continue Reading
Riley Steele Is Much Sexier Than Richard Dreyfuss
You need proof? They cut the money shot scene out of Mr. Holland’s Opus…. Continue Reading