If there are two people less equipped to escape an erupting volcano than these two, they’re probably wheelchair-bound, conjoined twins. I mean, as a rule, GaGa’s either naked or wearing something so impractical that even Bjork would look at it and yelp “What the hell, woman?” (She would likely follow this with “I like sardines. Are you a monkey vest?” Because Bjork is insane. And Icelandic, which is like insane, only colder.) And Kanye? Ah… just insert your own “Krakatoa had the best eruption ever” joke here.

In other news, GaGa’s ongoing efforts to force me to find her attractive continue. She’s bound and determined to eye-rape me until I start to like it, and heaven help me… I think it’s happening. This stuff isn’t Spank Bank-worthy, but it’s at least eligible for a certificate of deposit at First National Savings & Minor Boners.