She’s back, and still stabbing people in varying states of undress. Only this time in suburbia which –let’s face it– could really use more stabbing…. Continue Reading
A Bastion of Bacchanalian Booyah
Tag Archives: celebrity
Deborah Foreman Is On Twitter, And I Am An Emotional 14 Year-Old
I was in love with her as a kid, so I’m, ah… pleased. Seriously, when I found out, I did everything but actually “Squeeee!” I need to recover my manhood. Wait here while I go punch a lion. Or an alpaca. Y’know, whatever…. Continue Reading
Clare Grant: There’s More To Seth Green’s Wife Than Lightsaber Nipples (NSFW)
My notes say “…she also has a Fahrenheit 451 ass”, but I’m not sure what that means. I need to stop reading science fiction and masturbating while high. Hm… okay, I’ll stop tomorrow…. Continue Reading
22 Random Things I Thought While Enduring The VMAs
SAMPLE: “I’m pretty sure that if the CDC could get a sample of that Jersey Shore/Chelsea Handler hot tub water, we’d have a fair shot at developing a vaccine for every venereal disease that ever existed.”… Continue Reading
50 Cent: Just Like Sarah Palin
What? They both love guns, have a taste for expensive clothes, and are as articulate as a toddler with a mouthful of thumb-tacks…. Continue Reading
Helen Mirren Got Her Goddess On (NSFW)
Bet ya didn’t think you’d see “Helen Mirren” and “NSFW” together, did ya? Never underestimate me, my friends…. Continue Reading
Beth Ostrosky Reveals Her Secret
Just what does it take to get it on with a geriatric radio personality/has-been?… Continue Reading
Vanessa Hudgens, No Explanation Required
No quarter asked, none given. Well, I mean, you can ask, but I don’t carry change…. Continue Reading
Amanda Seyfried Is Super-Helpful
Which I believe puts her somewhere on the Helpfulness Scale between Superman and a one-legged Boy Scout with acute head trauma. (It’s a broad scale.)… Continue Reading
It All Adds Up: Heidi Montag Replaces Spencer
As in 2 + 2 = Heidi’s a foo. Wow, that sorta rhymed! Now all I need is an opium addiction and a syphilitic mistress so I can be a 19th century poet!… Continue Reading