In a move akin to birds not ruling out flying or hobos not ruling out public urination, Audrina made the world a little warmer and fuzzier with her recent statement. What she said:

If I was passionate about the script and the scene was there in order to make the character believable then I would do it. If it was just a flash of booty here and a bit of boob there then fine, but anything too intense and I probably wouldn’t do it.

What she meant:

I’ve already stretched my fifteen minutes in ways which make it clear that my boobs’ gravity can distort the curvature of space-time, so I need to step up my game. I’m tired of appearing in shitty movies that no one wants to see in a theater, and am looking for a chance to make a shitty movie that people will want to see with their pants off. Please, Hollywood producers… if you thought for even a moment that I was too modest to give you The Full Audrey, think again!

I mean,  ”…make the character believable?” Audrina, I would pay good money just to get a glimpse of your vag through a hole drilled in the wall of your hotel room (and I have; drill bits aren’t cheap), but you could be oiled up and riding me like one of those mechanical ponies outside the supermarket and I still wouldn’t find you believable. I don’t buy you as Audrina Partridge, let alone Scarlett O’Hara. The only role to which you’re ideally suited is that of a spray-tanned Old Navy supermodelquin.

And hell, it’s not as if you haven’t gotten naked for us before.

With that said, I don’t think we should let my lack of respect for your career nor your lack of awareness of my existence keep us apart. Come to me. I’ve got a bottle of baby oil and a stack of quarters… meet me outside the Publix at 2:30 and we’ll get this thing done.