Roger
Author Bio: A philosopher-king in exile, Roger has been forced by fate to wander the wilderness in pursuit of good Italian food and a sort of ring-like thingie --passed down to him by a sacred order of sexy, amoral executive assistants and stolen by this chick he met at a party, he thinks her name was "M"-something-- that is possessed of a power that can shake the very foundations of the globe. Except that globes don't have foundations, so he mostly just checks out hot chicks and cultivates a Lebowski-eqsue lifestyle.
By Roger on March 18, 2010
There comes a time in every man’s life when he must establish his priorities. If yours’ involve wearing a dorky headset, start over.
Posted in Random Stuff | Tagged games
By Roger on March 18, 2010
In which I discover that I am jealous of a shifty-eyed degenerate living in New Jersey. (Did not see that coming.)
Posted in Random Stuff | Tagged arrest, sex, weird
By Roger on March 16, 2010
It’s first line? Shooting Spencer in the face before he can touch a keyboard.
Posted in Random Stuff | Tagged heidi montag, mtv, spencer pratt
By Roger on March 15, 2010
Which I believe puts her somewhere on the Helpfulness Scale between Superman and a one-legged Boy Scout with acute head trauma. (It’s a broad scale.)
Posted in From Afar | Tagged amanda seyfried, celebrity, r kelly, ray j
By Roger on March 12, 2010
And verily, her blessings were ample!
Posted in Random Stuff | Tagged coco, nsfw, nudity, twitter
By Roger on March 12, 2010
My legal advice to NBC-Universal? Sue her back for being so damned hawt! (I’m not a lawyer, but I killed one with the jawbone of an ass once.)
Posted in Random Stuff | Tagged bikinis, jon favreau, lawsuits, movies, richard gere
By Roger on March 12, 2010
As in 2 + 2 = Heidi’s a foo. Wow, that sorta rhymed! Now all I need is an opium addiction and a syphilitic mistress so I can be a 19th century poet!
Posted in From Afar | Tagged celebrity, heidi montag, mtv, psychics, spencer pratt, surgery
By Roger on March 9, 2010
And by “you”, I mean YOU. I’m as complex and thoughtful as the Dalai Lama, only with more sex appeal.
Posted in From Afar | Tagged billy ray cyrus, celebrity, hannah montana, miley cyrus
By Roger on March 7, 2010
And I, in turn, am not ruling out Audrina Partridge movies.
Posted in From Afar | Tagged audrina partridge, bikinis, celebrity, nsfw, nudity, television
By Roger on March 4, 2010
There’s nothing better than a meaningless list of celebs grouped according to nebulous criteria to make that wait at the gynecologist’s office just a little sweeter.
Posted in Random Stuff | Tagged celebrity, chris o'donnell, cosmopolitan, ed westwick, gossip girl, jessica szohl, magazines, sean william scott
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