Katy Perry from Russel Brand's Twitter

Katy Perry Has Not Been Kidnapped. Or So They Say.

IN THIS PHOTO: Singer-songwriter Katy Perry, looking more disheartened than a single mother who just woke up on Christmas morning to the news that her son has given her daughter a bladder infection.

I know the official story is that Russell Brand posted this photo to Twitter, and then quickly deleted it. But what if it’s bigger than that? Looks to me like she’s been taken hostage. Seriously, she could only look more like a kidnap victim if she were holding today’s newspaper in her teeth.

After what happened last summer between BP and the U.S., could this be part of some broader escalation of tensions, where an insane British fop kidnaps our nation’s single biggest source of deep-water cleavage? Is he going to demand continued drilling rights, or will he settle for exclusive motor-boating privileges?

Jesus, foreign relations can be intense!

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