Yes, this cover is implying that beneath that little dress, an enormous, post-natal afro lurks.
[fb-like]
No. Absolutely no. No on so many levels I cannot count them in the space and time allotted. No fucking way.
First, there is nothing sexy about untamed bush, ladies. This is not 1968, I’m not tripping balls on acid, and thus your massive mound of pubic underbrush isn’t entertainingly groovy. Also, I don’t like my women to walk around with a bulge in their Hello Kitty panties. Call me quirky. And straight.
This photo is only made possible by the twin miracles of laser hair removal and silicone implants. Thanks, science!
Second, vagina is beautiful. Gorgeous. Epic. I mean, sure, there’s the occasional uggo out there, but for the most part, I likey. Covering it up is a crime against everything wonderful in this world. Every time someone misses her appointment for a Brazilian wax, an angel gets his heavenly junk punched.
You know what else needs a hairless kitty? Low pants.
Finally, the most significant question: you want Cosmo’s idea of style, or you want my tongue on your bean? According to recent surveys, today’s ladies are all about receiving the oral lovin’, and sisters, I can provide for your needs… as long as I can find all the parts. I want to have sex with you, not go on a fucking safari like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Womb.
Do you want hair in your beer? No, I didn't think so.
In short, if you insist on giving your mound a beard, please feel free to stick a cigar in its mouth, too, ’cause that’s the only penetration it’s gonna get.
If she had followed Cosmo's advice, a classic internet photo would have never happened.
P.S. “But what about dudes? Why don’t you have to shave/wax/laser?” Two answers:
- We will, if you’d like.
- You won’t ask more than once, after you see how stupid a penis looks without a fur collar.
P.P.S. Okay, fine. You can leave a thin layer of hair up top, for decorative purposes. I’m okay with that. But in exchange, get to waxing those buttholes!
hat tip: ForgetFoo