Heather Morris (Brittany) Naked, “Glee” Now 5% Less Gay!

Glee is… well, it… it just blows, man.

Not because it’s incredibly, overwhelmingly gay, mind you. A television show has the right to be as flamboyant as it likes, and I fully support its opportunity to marry other rainbow-powered, unicorn-riding primetime comedy/dramas… or even adopt a little spin-off someday. I’m no (ordinary) bigot! Why, some of my favorite programs have been ridiculous, wrist-drooping, homo-tastic cheese-fests! And not just the obvious ones, like Walker, Texas Ranger.

But there is such a thing as good taste, and I have it. (I’ve been told my balls have a playful flavor; robust, with a hint of taint.) As such, I am utterly opposed to Glee‘s sub-Grease 2 brand of high school musicality. If The Breakfast Club got Xanadu drunk one night and they accidentally made a baby, it would be a mongoloid atrocity on roller skates… and it would still be better than Glee.

So it was with no small delight that I came across (make of that what you will) a couple nudes featuring the be-nippled form of one of Glee‘s lithe and fetchingly stupid cheerleaders, Heather Morris. Yes, Heather Morris, she who embodies the character Brittany and gives voice to the only funny lines on the show not uttered by Jane Lynch.

Lynch, by the way, is living proof that short-haired lesbians can be awesome and hilarious. (The counter-argument being, of course, Ellen Degeneres.) Power to my close-cropped sistahs!

Naked hairography is the best kind.

Sadly, the photographer did not book Heather to play a solo at Vagstock, so there’s only so much she can improve her show’s situation. But every little bit helps, and her work here at least suggests the possibility of a Glee where the ball-shriveling sincerity and covers of 30 year-old Madonna tunes (that sucked even before their bloated pop-cultural corpses were aurally fucked by Cory Monteith’s pasty vocal stylings) are at least supplemented by an occasional burst of teh sexxy.

Yes, Naked Brittany. That's a wall.

Ideal situation? Brittany and Santana break out the scissors and somehow manage to make the whole thing more and less gay, simultaneously. That, my friends, would be epic. Still bad… but epic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkGT8YnYJ_4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adUyCKeyNcE

(hat tip: Egotastic)

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