There comes a time in every man’s life when he must establish his priorities. If yours’ involve wearing a dorky headset, start over…. Continue Reading
There comes a time in every man’s life when he must establish his priorities. If yours’ involve wearing a dorky headset, start over…. Continue Reading
In which I discover that I am jealous of a shifty-eyed degenerate living in New Jersey. (Did not see that coming.)… Continue Reading
It’s first line? Shooting Spencer in the face before he can touch a keyboard…. Continue Reading
Which I believe puts her somewhere on the Helpfulness Scale between Superman and a one-legged Boy Scout with acute head trauma. (It’s a broad scale.)… Continue Reading
And verily, her blessings were ample!… Continue Reading
My legal advice to NBC-Universal? Sue her back for being so damned hawt! (I’m not a lawyer, but I killed one with the jawbone of an ass once.)… Continue Reading
As in 2 + 2 = Heidi’s a foo. Wow, that sorta rhymed! Now all I need is an opium addiction and a syphilitic mistress so I can be a 19th century poet!… Continue Reading
And by “you”, I mean YOU. I’m as complex and thoughtful as the Dalai Lama, only with more sex appeal…. Continue Reading
And I, in turn, am not ruling out Audrina Partridge movies…. Continue Reading
There’s nothing better than a meaningless list of celebs grouped according to nebulous criteria to make that wait at the gynecologist’s office just a little sweeter…. Continue Reading