Normally, annoying and/or boring people become more interesting when they take off their clothes. It’s like magic. Or at least that’s what Rufus the Konjuring Klown told me behind my dad’s tool-shed at my sixth birthday party. But Rufus lied… and had really cold hands, I might add.
Lohan changing it up: having sex with a guy pretending to be Johnny Depp, instead of having sex with a chick pretending to be Gollum. You've come a long way, baby.
I mean, let’s look at these shots of Lohan from Muse magazine for a minute. Is there anyone I’m less interested in seeing naked at this point? Rhea Perlman? Okay, I’ll give you that. Cookie Monster? Possibly, although those googly eyes and that gaping mouth are intriguing. But Lindsay? Meh.
It’s not that she looks bad, really. Taken out of context, she’s actually looking porn-star-decent. (Somewhere between porn-star-hot and porn-star-pee-in-my-mouth-I-need-money-for-meth-awful.) She’s just… Lohan. It’s as if she’s transcended the erotic, becoming some sort of sexless alien with huge tits. Which should be hot, I know… but it just isn’t.