By Roger on December 9, 2009
In his seemingly endless quest to bang and subsequently alienate every woman on the planet, I suggest Tiger Woods give Amazon Eve a shot. For two reasons:
- Amazon Eve is 6’8″, so at some point, there would be a sex tape. I mean, you don’t climb a mountain and fail to document it, right? I would pay money to see that.
- A scorned Eve could presumably do worse than shatter a car window with a golf club. (Think Tiger Penis Soup.) I would pay even more money to see that. Hell, I would give a six year-old cancer patient’s make-a-wish donations to see it.
What, are you kidding?! Give a dying child one final, glimmering moment of joy, or see a famous guy get his balls squashed by a pissed-off giantess? How is that even a question?
I swear, sometimes it’s like I don’t even know you people!
Posted in From Afar | Tagged amazon eve, bikinis, tiger woods |
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Author Bio: A philosopher-king in exile, Roger has been forced by fate to wander the wilderness in pursuit of good Italian food and a sort of ring-like thingie –passed down to him by a sacred order of sexy, amoral executive assistants and stolen by this chick he met at a party, he thinks her name was “M”-something– that is possessed of a power that can shake the very foundations of the globe. Except that globes don’t have foundations, so he mostly just checks out hot chicks and cultivates a Lebowski-eqsue lifestyle.
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