With a girlfriend like this, so many possibilities open up. I mean, with her around, who needs a drain snake? There’s no telling what variations of the Rusty Trombone she can pull off. And becoming independently wealthy via bar bets becomes a viable option.

By the way, am I alone in thinking it is high-larious that Wikipedia has an entry for Rusty Trombone? To win this educational arms race, Encyclopedia Britannica is going to be forced to include detailed illustrations. Which makes it the rare war where we all win.