The odd thing about Australian media is how conflicted the country seems to be. They’ve got more sex on public TV than we’d be comfortable with here in the States (and by “we”, I mean ex-girls-gone-wild soccer moms, closet-perv evangelical preachers, and Esme, the senile old lady next door who thinks my bedroom window is NBC), and yet they narrowly avoided setting up a China-style firewall to block their citizens from accessing porn on the net.

Just to give you an idea of how much cooler the Aussie tube is, check out this Sanyo spot starring model Imogen Bailey:

See? It’s not actually dirty… no T&A, no foul language. Just the implication of masturbation and a hidden erection. Well, that and the implication that this dude is so controlled by his shrew of a wife that he’s horny enough to rub one out to a TV commercial. I haven’t been that desperate since I was fourteen, a period of my life during which I would have happily married a JCPenny catalog.

(Yes, children: in those days, when a young lad felt the need to garrote the poultry, it was often a dire situation. We didn’t have hot-and-cold running porno on our computers. If we had a computer, it could probably only display sixteen colors on the screen at once. You know what could really use more than sixteen colors and pixels the size of your thumb? Photos of vaginas, that’s what.)

Anyway… here are some more shots of Imogen. I think I’m going to find a copy of an old Nair “We Wear Short Shorts” commercial and give Esme a bitterly nostalgic thrill.

Is there someone on photoshoot sets whose job it is to artfully cover a model's nipples with hair? If so, I must kill him and wear his skin like a suit.

You know what I like? A woman who dresses for practicality.