This is a tale of sex, sun, and forensic photography.
For those of you not-so-well-versed in the realms of adult entertainment (not that *I* am, of course), there’s this porn star named Gauge. According to her Wikipedia entry, she had a fairly busy career from 2002-05 before semi-retiring to her home state of Arkansas. That’s where I’m from, so I know these things. I’m all about the homegirls, see.
Don’t look at me like that.
Anyway, folks from Arkansas and Alabama were dominating the beach scene from Saturday through Friday. And as I sat there poolside, snapping photos, I could swear that one girl looked awfully familiar. Not familiar in the sense that I’ve seen her work. No, no, no. The other kind of familiar, the kind that doesn’t make me look like a perv.
Things got interesting when she and her girlfriends trotted up to the stage for an impromptu dancefest, announcing that they were from Arkansas. Say what now? I filed this info away, and upon returning home, developed a theory that this young woman:
…was this young woman:
For about fifteen minutes, I thought I might have stumbled across a semi-celebrity sighting, entirely by accident.
Unfortunately (?), upon reviewing Gauge’s Wikipedia entry, I noted a discrepancy. The La Vela girl was tattoo-free on the small of her back, unlike the early retiree in question. So either I was witness to the results of some fantastic laser-tatt-removal surgery, or it was all in my head.
Now, a lesser man would look at this situation and declare himself a dumbass. Not I. Instead, I opt to view this as a mystery solved, a conundrum explored. The fact that I created said mysterious conundrum is wholly incidental and irrelevant.