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Audrina Partridge Not Ruling Out Nude Scenes

Audrina Partridge Not Ruling Out Nude Scenes

By Roger on March 7, 2010

And I, in turn, am not ruling out Audrina Partridge movies.

Full Story »

Posted in From Afar | Tagged audrina partridge, bikinis, celebrity, nsfw, nudity, television | Leave a response

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Spencer Pratt Is America's Last Line of Cyber Defense

Spencer Pratt Is America’s Last Line of Cyber Defense

By Roger on March 16, 2010

It’s first line? Shooting Spencer in the face before he can touch a keyboard.

Posted in Random Stuff | Tagged heidi montag, mtv, spencer pratt | Leave a response

Amanda Seyfried Is Super-Helpful

Amanda Seyfried Is Super-Helpful

By Roger on March 15, 2010

Which I believe puts her somewhere on the Helpfulness Scale between Superman and a one-legged Boy Scout with acute head trauma. (It’s a broad scale.)

Posted in From Afar | Tagged amanda seyfried, celebrity, r kelly, ray j | Leave a response

Nice Tweets: Saint Coco Blesses The Multitudes (NSFW)

Nice Tweets: Saint Coco Blesses The Multitudes (NSFW)

By Roger on March 12, 2010

And verily, her blessings were ample!

Posted in Random Stuff | Tagged coco, nsfw, nudity, twitter | Leave a response

Ex-Model Sues Company, Unaware Men Masturbate

Ex-Model Sues Company, Unaware Men Masturbate

By Roger on March 12, 2010

My legal advice to NBC-Universal? Sue her back for being so damned hawt! (I’m not a lawyer, but I killed one with the jawbone of an ass once.)

Posted in Random Stuff | Tagged bikinis, jon favreau, lawsuits, movies, richard gere | Leave a response

It All Adds Up: Heidi Montag Replaces Spencer

It All Adds Up: Heidi Montag Replaces Spencer

By Roger on March 12, 2010

As in 2 + 2 = Heidi’s a foo. Wow, that sorta rhymed! Now all I need is an opium addiction and a syphilitic mistress so I can be a 19th century poet!

Posted in From Afar | Tagged celebrity, heidi montag, mtv, psychics, spencer pratt, surgery | Leave a response

Break It Down

  • Avengers #1, Part 1: Norse Gods & Mila Kunis
  • Angelo’s Steak Pit (Panama City Beach, FL)
  • Captain Anderson’s (Panama City Beach, FL)

From Afar

  • Hannah Montana Is Deeper Than You
  • Confirmed: Kristen Stewart Short One Vajayjay
  • Bar Refaeli Is Getting Desperate For My Attention

On The Scene

  • Bootyography: Wet T-Shirts Are To Dudes As Rainbows & Unicorns Are To Six Year-Old Girls
  • Bootyography: The Ass: A Retrospective
  • Gratuitous Spring Break: Skinny Britney & Friend (Part the First)

Random Stuff

  • Cosmo Gets Fun, Fearless & Slightly Senile
  • The Early Trailer for Spider-Man 4 Is Here and It May Need a Red Band
  • Hermione Way: Red-Hot Mac Lovin’
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Lohan Is No One's Muse

Lohan Is No One’s Muse

By Roger on December 22, 2009

Unless you’re Heidi Montag’s songwriter… yeah, I could believe that.

Posted in From Afar | Tagged celebrity, hotposts, lindsay lohan, sex, videos | Leave a response

Bootyography: Wet T-Shirts Are To Dudes As Rainbows & Unicorns Are To Six Year-Old Girls

Bootyography: Wet T-Shirts Are To Dudes As Rainbows & Unicorns Are To Six Year-Old Girls

By Roger on November 16, 2009

A probing, thoughtful examination of our culture’s attitudes toward the female breast. (High-beams included at no extra charge.)

Posted in On The Scene | Tagged boobs, breasts, club, club lavela, contests, florida, hotposts, panama city beach, pcb, spring break, videos | Leave a response

Avengers #1, Part 1: Norse Gods & Mila Kunis

Avengers #1, Part 1: Norse Gods & Mila Kunis

By Roger on September 4, 2009

See, you’re just dying to know how those things come together, aren’t ya? Frankly, I’m a little surprised myself.

Posted in Break It Down | Tagged avengers, comics, hotposts, iron man, loki, thor | Leave a response

Gratuitous Spring Break: Skinny Britney & Friend (Part the First)

Gratuitous Spring Break: Skinny Britney & Friend (Part the First)

By Roger on August 26, 2009

Welcome to excerpts from my private photo album, or as the cops will one day refer to it, evidence.

Posted in On The Scene | Tagged bikinis, blond, club la vela, contests, florida, hotposts, panama city beach, pcb, spring break | 1 Response

Nice Tweets: @kayden_kross

Nice Tweets: @kayden_kross

By Roger on August 6, 2009

Kayden Kross does naughty naked things in front of a camera. I would too, but cameras aren’t designed to capture that much sexy.

Posted in From Afar | Tagged bikinis, hotposts, kayden kross, porn, sex, twitter | 1 Response

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Disclaimer

What, are you kidding? Obviously, nothing you read here should be taken as fact, news, or even vaguely reliable gossip. This stuff is so fundamentally unreal that it's possible you only think you're reading it when you're really staring at a blank wall and humming 99 Luftballoons.

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